I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

Preface:
The title comes from a song by the Beach Boys, and a documentary about the life of Brian Wilson (reference HERE).  There's a two-part bit of irony about this title though:

1. I don't actually like the song.  Ditto for the lyrics.  The sentiment fits for the theme of the posting though, and I have a soft spot for interesting titles.
2. Speaking of the sentiment, I personally am okay in these times...it's many other folks that I know where I have worries.

On to the posting.

                                                                               ******

Ms. Rivers and I were talking the other day about how much the world has changed over the course of our lives, which brought out some of the survivor guilt I occasionally feel when my mind is allowed to think about the bigger, more weighty questions of life.  Damn, that was a long sentence.  Note though that was in no way presented as some kind of admiration for F. Scott Fitzgerald*.  And so, I digress.

Anyway, younger folks may not appreciate what I’m referring to, but when I was a teenager, the following things did not exist:

Cellphones/Smartphones

Desktop/Laptop/Tablet computers

The Internet

Social media

Smart appliances

Internet accessible video cameras

On-line college courses/degrees

On-line documents (like pay stubs, tax records, etc.)

On-Line time punching/time clocks at work

It’s worth the time to reflect on just how much the above-mentioned things have become an essential part of our lives.  How many of us could go a day…or a week…without access to some of the above?  I readily admit that it would be tough for me. I wonder how I managed to survive without those things all those years ago.  Yet some do to this very day, although I’m not always sure that it is a conscious choice.

Today’s technology-infused world requires a certain degree of (mental) dexterity, patience and a willingness to explore.  These are not innate qualities that everyone has, for better or for worse, when it comes to technology.  While I am definitely not intimidated by the latest techno-thing, whatever that might be, that’s far less about the thing itself and far more about me.  Where there are things that I have not adopted (some of the smart-home stuff, for example), that’s entirely because I just don’t see the value in how it would relate to my life.  The main thing though is that there is no barrier for me to add new technology into my life if I see the benefit.

That last sentence is the important one, in my opinion.  What if someone had some kind of barrier to the broader use of technology?  Granted that there are adaptive technologies that can make the use of things like the Internet easier for individuals with disabilities, but that’s a different scenario.  How so?  It assumes that the individual wants to use the technology in the first place, and they had the ability to do so with assistance.

This leads to a bigger picture kind of question: What obligation does society have to individuals who choose (willingly or unwillingly) not to use this stuff? 

Part of the above question comes from reading the news and seeing that the Social Security Administration may close some regional offices and do away with their phone system for certain kinds of things.  What would be left?  Physical offices that are farther away and the Internet.  Both remaining options can present real issues for some.

All of this leads to the central point I’m trying to make, namely that I think society has an obligation to make doing essential things easy for everyone.  That includes those who may not embrace technology in the same way that the majority seems to, increasingly so.

A harsh reality is that society is not doing this.  In fact, and getting back to my comments about the Social Security Administration, elements of society are making this situation worse.  Yes, I suspected that the same deliberation may have occurred when, for example, the first telephones went into use.  Conceptually that’s a valid comparison, but only until we dig a bit deeper and see that, in the case of the telephone, that was one thing that impacted one element of folk’s lives.  These days, pervasive technology-driven change has reached almost every aspect of life, and the impact is in fact cumulative.  Think about it: If you are not comfortable using a smartphone, then are you going to have trouble with the whole concept of an App?  What if the only way you can clock into work is using an App?  What if that’s how you are supposed to pay for your car insurance?

I grieve for the many who are falling into what seems this technology spiral.  What are they going to do?

I don't have any (good) answers to that last question.  That's the thing about big change I suppose, namely that it seems like some folks are always left behind as a consequence.  At best I think we can collectively offer some measure of compassion to our fellow humans.  We can also implore, as I often do at work, businesses to make sure that they are meeting their customers where they (the customers) are...not just where they think they should be.  

 ******

(*) I once tried to read The Great Gatsby, but after a few pages (which likely totaled about 3 sentences), I just gave up.  Writing style aside for a moment, a book about shallow rich people and their problems isn’t all that appealing to me.  If I liked that sort of thing, I would watch “The Real Housewives of _________” instead.  If you insist on reading it for yourself though, I highly recommend the Family Guy 10-minute version.

There Was No Joy

I was at church a past Sunday, and as usual, the very young man who helps with the collection did his typical and joyful sprint after delivering the goods to the altar.  That always makes me smile.  It’s also a far cry from what I remember as a child, going to Holy Family Church in Scranton.

The biggest difference between then and now?  Back then, there was no joy.

What we had instead was a clergy that was more interested in formality, rigidity and obedience.  If “God is Love” (1 John, 4:8) then I’d be hard pressed to think that God was actually there.  Granted that I see the need for managing the audience, if you will, back when church attendance was much higher, but this went well beyond the tactics of orchestrating large groups of humans.  There was a tenable kind of feeling of obligation…of “doing it because you were told”…instead of really learning what, for example, what the Gospels could teach us about life 2000 years later. 

Had that little boy done his joyful sprinting back then, well, there would have been stern words afterwards.  Ponder that for a moment:  A small child is genuinely happy to be at church and participating…so much so that he’s literally running with joy in his footsteps.  And yet decades ago, this would have been met with disdain and likely anger.  Maybe, just maybe, had a bit of joy been universally encouraged back then, perhaps some churches wouldn’t be in the attendance pickle that seems so very pervasive these days.

I do realize, by the way, that “things were different” when I was a child.  Some of those differences were for the better then, such as the general pace of things.  Today, well I know that things move too fast for some (that’s a different post for another day), and many seem like they are being left behind in our modern world.   Some of those differences were definitely for the worse, such as how we treated the environment.  Wait…those bad old day might be coming back.  Anyway, the concept of being different is almost agnostic in that it can’t be proven to be better or worse when you look at everything combined.  Different is simply different.

I will note that I don’t go to church every Sunday.  Maybe twice a month.  It all depends. 

But when I do go, I think age has taught me lessons about priorities and what I really should be paying attention to at any given moment.  Part of that is the sense of an actual, physical community, which is something that, in our increasingly virtual world, is becoming all too infrequent.  Granted that I am not the greatest community member (that would involve interacting with humans a bit too much for me), but there is a kind of purity in having someone come up to you in church and ask you how you are doing.  And sincerely mean it, by the way.  Last but not least, I enjoy going to church with Ms. Rivers…it’s one of those “our time” kind of things.  She’s more active in things than I am, so I’d like to think that I am kind of like her chief cheerleader, consigliere, and (really not needed) bodyguard.

To end this screed, and speaking of ending things, my church growing up, Holy Family in Scranton, was torn down years ago.  I made it a point to document the demolition, a kind of monument, if you will, to things gone by.

Note sure if this is behind a paywall, but you can find an article about the church's demise HERE.

Two postings I wrote in 2011 that include additional photos can be found at:

Holy Family Church Pictures 1

Holy Family Church Pictures 2

Penn State Commonwealth Campuses Closing

Any time I write about Penn State I feel a need to explain my connection to the University.  So here goes:

I have two degrees from Penn State.  I am a life member of the Alumni Association.  I served on the Penn State Harrisburg Alumni Society board.  I helped fund a Penn State scholarship.  Penn State will be a beneficiary of my estate.  In fact, I've contributed more to Penn State over the years than I have any other organization.  

The above out of the way, Penn State is making news these days regarding decisions that will be made soon about closing some of the Commonwealth Campuses.  For the uninitiated, "Commonwealth Campuses" is the Penn State euphemism for anything outside of State College, PA. Here's the official press release from the University's President:

https://www.psu.edu/news/administration/story/message-president-bendapudi-commonwealth-campuses

Personally important to me in the announcement is the following:

"To provide clarity, I want to affirm that our seven largest Commonwealth Campuses – Abington, Altoona, Behrend, Berks, Brandywine, Harrisburg, and Lehigh Valley – along with our graduate education-focused campus at Great Valley, will remain open and we will continue to invest in them." 

All of this is tied, however, to a larger question about the very role of the Commonwealth Campuses.  To understand this, you need to first realize something about Penn State's unwritten culture, namely that the Commonwealth Campuses have, throughout their existence, been viewed as a kind of second-class citizenry within the larger world of the university.  In fact, for many inside of the State College world, their existence is barely acknowledged.  On more than one occasion, I've mentioned to someone that my bachelor's degree is from Penn State Harrisburg, which inevitably elicited the following response:  "Oh, is that one of the satellite campuses?  Where is that?  I didn't know you could get a bachelor's degree there.".  Note the "Where is that?" comment, as apparently Pennsylvania Geography isn't a popular course in State College.  

How can I say the above?  What gives me the right?

See my disclaimer, above.  I've also had this discussion with Penn State staff many times over the years.  I've shared my opinion with university leaders at every opportunity.  What I'm noting is less of an opinion and more of a fact, all be it one that some in State College (and those who "just" attended State College) would just as soon not share in public.  The Commonwealth Campuses have existed basically just as a way to funnel those not as well-heeled students to State College at the start of their junior year (a.k.a., those who were unable to gain entrance to State College for their freshman year).  At best, many simply view them as this...

...meaning that they have no identity other than being a step stool.  A kind of Penn State version of baseball’s minor leagues*, without the colorful mascots and team logos.  That's been a conscious choice on the part of Penn State leadership for decades, both at the campuses themselves as well as in State College.  Penn State Harrisburg is (apparently) surviving in part because of its separate identity outside of the State College bubble, and its reputation in South Central Pennsylvania.  That same notion of having a separate identity also applies to the Law School, Medical School and Penn College of Technology.  

I will note that the university has invested in the physical locations of many Commonwealth Campuses.  But the physical plant does nothing to change the culture of an institution, and in the world of Penn State, that culture is squarely State College-centric.  With an ever-increasing use of virtual university options, including Penn State World Campus, it's pretty clear that buildings alone are less important to the university's story.

So, is the present state, with pending closures, inevitable?

I think the answer to the above question is a solid yes and no.  

Yes, in the sense that the university may have over-extended the Commonwealth Campus system.  Some of the campuses are just too close to each other, and as noted above, the Penn State World Campus clearly now takes students out of the traditional Penn State hierarchy.  40+ years ago I don't think anyone could have seen how higher education has changed in the Unites States as a whole.

No, in the sense that the university has never really made the Commonwealth Campuses an important part of the Penn State identity, let alone part of the university experience (in essence, what it means to be a Penn Stater).  See the stepstool graphic.  And again, this has been a conscious choice.  For much of the State College leadership, everything outside of Happy Valley is a footnote of sorts to the Penn State story.  When the only important things happening are in State College, then it's not shocking that some other campuses may just fade away.

In the end, crocodile tears will be shed by those physically (and for many alumni mentally) in State College, but then they will likely cheer for the additional resources available to, in their eyes, "the real" Penn State.  For the rest of us invested in Penn State outside of the State College bubble, this will be a sad time, reinforcing a status we've all known has existed for a very long time.

=====

(*) I would be willing to bet my last dime that there are some Penn State graduates that have heard this news and reacted with a solid expression of "So what?".  That, more so than anything I've written in this posting, proves my point about Penn State’s unwritten culture and the Commonwealth Campuses’ place in the university’s hierarchy.

Mrs. Gleason, Teacher

(from the school's Facebook page, link below)

I recently read the obituary in The Scranton Times for Theresa (Tess) Gleason.  Instantly I knew who she was.  More specifically, she was one of my grade school teachers at John Adams Elementary School in Scranton.  As I write this, I can still see her face in my memories of back then, which is quite the accomplishment considering how long “back then” actually was, both in terms of years and aging neurons.  This kind of memory speaks to the power of teachers.

https://www.thetimes-tribune.com/obituaries/theresa-b-gleason-scranton-pa/

I have a theory of sorts:  The folks that publicly complain about teachers the most (think “…they get summers off”, etc.) have likely been cursed by not ever having had a really good teacher in their life.  If the spew from these folks wasn’t so bad sometimes, well, I’d likely have pity on them.  As it stands, I have been blessed in my life to have had really good teachers.  Including Mrs. Gleason.  I remember that she was positive, encouraging, and really good at teaching science.  If you know me, well, then you know how important the latter was in the grand scheme of my life.  As a youngster, I was something of a mess, in more ways than one, mostly because I think I was/am wired differently than most, at least in terms of how I think about things.  As an older adult, I see that now as a gift, and on many occasions, I’ve actually gotten compliments for my different approach to things.  In all likelihood, it was small acts of encouragement from teachers like Mrs. Gleason that helped me get from there to here with (most of) my marbles intact.

Now it would be true to say that I am prejudiced in favor of teachers.  My late ex-wife was an outstanding teacher.  My oldest daughter follows in those footsteps, teaching English to kids whom others would just as soon ignore.  I am absolutely positive that, just as I remember Mrs. Gleason all these years on, so to do/will countless other students have memories of my ex-wife and oldest daughter.  Great teachers have that kind of power.  This explains why some with egos that are fragile and a reach for power that exceeds their grasp are the loudest when criticisms are leveled at (especially public school) teachers.  They are simply jealous and…as noted above…they likely don’t have any teachers they fondly remember.

Rest in Peace Mrs. Gleason.  You’ve no doubt done well.

Tom Homan vs. the United States Constitution

Apparently the "Border Czar" under the current administration is very upset at New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for actually informing fellow human beings about their legal rights.  Citation here:

https://thehill.com/homenews/5149597-homan-doj-ocasio-cortez-ice/

I will state categorically that I have issues with many of the things that Rep. Ocasio-Cortez supports.  However, informing individuals of their actual, legal, Constitutional rights should be something we all support.  Unless of course you only want those rights to apply to you (and, let's be honest here, people who look like you).

By the way, this is what the "Border Czar" is upset about...

In case you didn't know, U.S. Constitutional rights and protections extend to aliens...here legally or otherwise.  You can learn more about this by reviewing a presentation by Penn State's Law School here.  The second slide is the most important...

These Constitutional rights are the ultimate protection against a big, intrusive government, and by their very nature these must apply to the least among us, or they truly have no real value for anyone.  The fact is that the rich and the powerful will always have the resources to get their way (an example is how Rupert Murdoch gained his citizenship).  In a perfect world the rules would apply equally to the privileged and those "not so much", but as my first Director at Prudential (Augie Urgola, God rest his soul) used to say, "It ain't a perfect world".  While Constitutional rights don't fix this, they at least provide for a kind of safety net.

Finally, even if you support the current president, you should be exceptionally skeptical of any notion that basic rights can be stripped from those who have become a kind of political pawn in a never-ending war for power among politicians.  Any politicians.  Rights taken away from an immigrant today create a precedent that rights could be taken away from you tomorrow.

There was a time when strangers were welcome here...

There's a wonderful song from the 1970's by Neil Sedaka that he wrote for his friend, the late John Lennon (yes, that John Lennon) called The Immigrant.  Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about this song from time to time, so I wanted to share it.

Why have I been thinking about it?  

Well, Ms. Rivers and I have what we call the "5-minute rule" at home.  This basically states that we have about 5 minutes each day to talk about the crazy and sad stuff coming out of Washington D.C..  This is intentional, for several different reasons, including the fact that we don't want to buy into the whole intentional blitzkrieg of nonsensical madness from the current administration.  This doesn't mean that we don't notice this stuff...it simply means that we try and notice what really is important.

One of the really important things to notice has been the on-going demonization of Hispanic immigrants coming into our country.  Think "rapists, murderers" and the like.  Never mind that the best data out there shows that immigrants (legal or otherwise) actually commit crimes at a lower rate than the population as a whole*.  Anyway, why the focus on Hispanic immigrants in the first place?  I have a theory:  Dictators...real and pretend...always need a foil, a group of folks to demonize, so as to inflate their sense of self-superiority and distract their followers from reality. The current group being demonized fits the bill for two important reasons:

1. If they are not citizens, they don't vote.
2. They can look and sound different.

So, when the feds raid a meat-packing plant or church or school, how can they tell who to round up? Take a guess.  I had this same conversation with two co-workers (one from Mexico, the other's family is from Puerto Rico), and when I posed this same question, both simply pointed to their faces.  Sometimes a gesture is also worth a thousand words.

Now should we just ignore crime by illegal immigrants?  Of course not.  We have a criminal justice system for this sort of thing.  My point though is this:  No one should be suspected of being a criminal illegal immigrant based on how they look or speak.  

I think I've used up my 5 minutes.

Anyway, I don't fear immigrants, legal or otherwise.  Instead, I fear greedy people in power who lack the ability to understand the very concept of empathy.  If you are reading this, well, you should too.

One final, and rather ironic, note:                                                                                                              We are all immigrants or came from immigrants.  And not all of us had ancestors that came here legally either.  This is an inconvenient truth for some, but that doesn't make it any less factually correct.

(*) This is the part that will make some angry, as they don't want their emotional reaction to immigration to be blunted by facts, but so be it.  

Northwestern University -
https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2024/03/immigrants-are-significantly-less-likely-to-commit-crimes-than-the-us-born/

Annual Review of Criminology (Academic Site) -

https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-criminol-032317-092026

Stanford University -

https://ranabr.people.stanford.edu/sites/g/files/sbiybj26066/files/media/file/immigration_incarceration_jan2024.pdf

CATO Institute -

https://www.cato.org/blog/illegal-immigrants-have-low-homicide-conviction-rate-setting-record-straight-illegal-immigrant

In the Clearing Stands a Boxer...

 ...and a fighter by his trade

and he carries the reminders

of every glove that laid him down

or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame

"I am leaving, I am leaving" but he fighter still remains

(Paul Simon, The Boxer)

My brother Chris passed away 8 years ago this past January 5th, and to be honest, I was so wrapped up in work stuff that I really didn't take time to reflect on that difficult day in my life.  That one is on me, and stands as a reminder to keep the priorities of life in their rightful places.  I've written about Chris in prior postings over the years, so there will no doubt be some repetition coming, but so be it.

Whenever I hear the Simon and Garfunkel song "The Boxer" I think of Chris.  See above.  He actually was an amateur boxer, and I quoted the song in my eulogy of him back in 2017. 

Towards the end of his life, Chris was an enormous pain in my rear-end, as I was forever trying to solve one problem or another for him.  He was not well, mentally or physically, being a far cry from the boxer...and runner...he was in earlier years.  It was as if life kept putting more and more weight on him until finally, he simply gave out.  The irony isn't lost on me that this person who was genuinely strong for a good part of his life had a life ending in such personal and physical weakness.  

Some of the weight on him I honestly believe was made far worse when our mother passed away, although not in the way most may think.  In some respects, Chris always had something to prove to our mother, even though he never would have acknowledged that fact himself.  He did, by the way, more than prove whatever it* was, as for a good part of his life he worked hard, took care of himself, and adored his daughter Miranda.  He was successful by most definitions, starting with his honorable discharge from the United States Navy, through working as a postal carrier, graduation from college and eventual relocation back to Scranton.  In the end though, there's no purpose for the hunt if the hunter...or the prey...are no more.

Granted that there is more to this story than simply one of a reckoning between a child and parent that was never going to happen.  My brother had other quests in life that were never likely to result in anything fruitful.  On some level he knew this, and I think that some of his demons were simply a manifestation of this knowledge and his being powerless to really make a change.  That didn't stop a few folks close to him from really trying.

All the above noted, there was so much I admired about my brother.  He was naturally outgoing in a way that a thousand me in a thousand parallel universes could never, ever be.  He was a lover of cats who could also be very charming and extremely funny.  I will also note that he was one of the few folks I've ever met who could successfully thread the needle of being (a supposed) conservative Republican while also understanding the realities of something like racism.  What others in the family considered to be hypocrisy, I have come to appreciate as skill.  He was very well read, consuming biographies and poetry like some these days go through oh so many tweets.  

There was so much more that he could have done, and I often think about him, grieving for what he should have been.  I know that is a sort of fool's errand and likely selfish on my part, as who knows what could have been for any of us.  I also know though that in the quiet moments when the difficulties of present life aren't overwriting my brain, there is a kind of pain of not having him...in some better form...as being a part of my life.  In the end, there are so few in life that really understand us, so the loss of just one is a true tragedy.

Until we meet again brother.

(*) A relevant question is this:  What was "it" anyway?  I think we are all hard-wired to want our parents' approval on some level, to somehow have them, namely the people who in theory know us best, be proud of us.  In our case, that wasn't possible, at least not in a way that our mother could actually express.  This becomes a negative spiral that can consume you until you figure out how to simply stop the cycle.

By the Numbers

I received a compliment at work a few weeks ago from a data scientist that the company had hired to help develop/refine some of our analytics, mostly because I understand concepts such as Standard Deviation.  I forget what was specifically said, but it was along the lines of "he really understands analytics", or something similar to senior leadership.  I took it as a compliment.  Mostly though, I am glad it was said privately to me.  I hate being singled out in group settings.  

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about numbers recently.  Here's some examples (courtesy of some god-forsaken Google A.I. thing):

• Coffee Consumption - I am in the 23% of the U.S. population that does not drink coffee.
• Alcohol Consumption - I am in the 38% of the U.S. population that does not consume alcohol.
• Tobacco Products - I am in the 80% of the U.S. population that does not use tobacco.  I suspect the number is far lower for those of us who have never even tried a tobacco product (which is me).

One could also argue that I am in the 20% of the U.S. population that is no fun.  This is okay though.  

The real number I have been thinking more about though is how long before I retire?  Before anything else, I should note that I am privileged in that finances are not a major driver of this decision.  Ms. Rivers and I have worked with a financial advisor, and we are in better shape than most when it comes to being ready to self-select out of the full-time workforce.  Much of that is thanks to both of us "technically" being (non-consensual) early retirees of Prudential Financial, one of the few companies around that still provides (or provided, depending on one's perspective) good retirement benefits.  Included as well is the fact that we have a basic plan for healthcare coverage as we get older.  

For the record, I will be 61 years old in April.

What drives a decision to keep working for 3+ more years?  I would certainly get a larger Social Security benefit.  I would also be closer to Medicare eligibility.  Both prior statements assume that some god-forsaken group of politicians doesn't screw it up.  Anyway, those are nice, but not compelling arguments.  What I think is the bigger issue for me is one of mental stimulation.  As has been noted in these postings since 2008, I sometimes have the attention span of a brain-damaged gnat.  Will I have enough to do?  I am sure that early on I would, but what after, for example, most of the house projects are completed?  I could continue to work on a part-time basis; see below.  I will also add that I believe I am at a place professionally whereby I probably will have the opportunity to keep working full time for a few years to come.  Business is good, the company is growing, and they seem to tolerate me (see paragraph #1).

What drives a decision to only work for less than 3 more years?  This one is far simpler to understand:  As currently constructed, my professional life is bad for both my physical and mental health*.  Now I know that I can control parts of those things.  The reality is that I am hard-wired to not say no to things and to people.  Quite frankly though, I have far more work than I have time.  Physically, I have gained more weight over the past 4+ years than I am willing to confess to, almost entirely because I literally don't have the time at work to get up and even take a 15-minute walk. Wolfing down a microwaved lunch most days while reading emails isn't helping either. Mentally, I would say that I have been working at trying to maintain a better balance in my head relative to the importance of work in my life, but that's an on-going struggle, and I lose, often.  Coming home mentally spent is also not a great thing.

Noted above is the fact that I can and probably will work part-time in retirement, regardless of when that actually occurs.  I have some thoughts about that, but nothing definitive.  Mostly, this would have to be something I enjoy, and which won't prevent me from regaining a better balance for my physical and mental health.  

None of these musings are new for me; in fact, I have been thinking about this for a few years now.  The closer I get to age 62. the more important it seems to become.  On the quasi-philosophical side of things, there is the very important and real concept of death...as in I will die at some point.  It's the space between here and there though that matters the most.  How much of that time should be dedicated to a non-corporeal entity that would likely replace me a month after my passing?  I think/hope that the people in my life I care about the most would miss me for far longer than that.

Lastly, I will note that 2025 will be an important year for me in the forward-looking department.  Maybe it all comes down to this:  If I have a good 2025, I will work longer.  We shall see.  Regardless, I'd love to hear the perspectives of others on this topic. 

So, there you have it, a posting about numbers.  Well, it's actually more about a larger question of how much we truly owe to an employer (any employer) than it is anything else.  Things CAN change though.  Scratch that...things WILL change.  This is not a bad thing.

******

(*) I recognize that there are people who are struggling to find a job these days, stressful or otherwise, and my privilege extends to employment.  I am grateful to be employed, and I would hate the thought of having to look for a job at my age.  Age discrimination in employment is a significant issue in the United States today.  If anyone is reading this and would like my help in finding a job, even if it's as simple as reviewing a resume, please just let me know.

2025, Do It Again

Standing in the middle of nowhere

Wondering how to begin

Lost between tomorrow and yesterday

Between now and then

And now we're back where we started

Here we go 'round again

Day after day, I get up and I say

I better do it again

(The Kinks, Do It Again)

This is probably one of my favorite songs of all time, and it's at times like this (a new year) that it seems to ping the most around inside of my head.  Great songs do that, by the way:  They stick inside your head and become evocative of all sorts of things.

Music aside, it is a new year, and there is much to be done.  The election...and my last posting...seem like a while ago, something born as much on the back of necessity than sloth.  The necessity part comes in the form of my 250-ish page book via Storyworth that should be arriving in a week or so.  As I noted in a prior posting or two, during 2024 I was answering a question a week posed mostly by my youngest daughter, with some also coming from Ms. Rivers.  I also added about 2500 or so words at the end as a kind of coda to the stories.  While I wrote the whole thing, I am still looking forward to re-reading parts in the weeks to come.

As a side note, what was the experience like?  Did I learn anything?  To answer the first question, yes, but I also enjoy writing.  I wouldn't say the experience is for everyone, and it does require some measure of discipline.  If given as a gift, well, let's just say one should be selective in the recipient.  Regarding the second question, I'll defer to Ms. Rivers, who received an email copy (along with my youngest daughter) of each entry as it was saved.  When asked about her overall impressions, she was surprised at just how not-so-great my childhood was.  In answering the weekly questions, I tried to be very honest, so I suspect that's as valid a review as one can get.  Time, and other readers, will tell. 

What is a fact is that writing answers to personal questions on a weekly deadline did suck up a good part of my discretionary writing time.  I'm hoping to re-direct that effort here for 2025.  Anyway, a few other things are worth mentioning in the world around me (and, for some, you as well).

The Presidential Election came and went.  In theory folks voted for cheaper groceries; in fact, what they will get is likely higher prices, courtesy of tariffs on imported goods and deported farm workers.  A good many Americans simply just love a good sales job, which is what happened in November.  My personal hope is that the incoming administration's lack of competence will reduce their overall impact.  On my end, I've pretty much made the decision that I'm really not going to follow national politics over the next few years.  The swirl of chaos and controversy simply for its own sake just isn't something I have time for anymore.

On the work front, on one hand I count my blessings to be employed and working with some folks who care about what they are doing.  So many former colleagues from Prudential have been (involuntarily) retired or laid off over the past year that it makes you wonder what's left of the company.  Very few organizations have shrunk themselves into success, which is an interesting kind of academic view to take.  What's not so academic?  The very personal lives that have been impacted negatively by the company's actions.  It's a very stark reminder that most organizations basically demand loyalty from their employees without having to offer it in return.  This makes the job-hopping of younger generations all the more reasonable.  Yes, sometimes the younger folks are smarter than the older folks. 

As a caveat to the above, the key word to note in that first sentence (of the prior paragraph) is "some", as in not all.  This is true in many places, I know, but for me it has forced a recognition that I need to continue to work on that most very basic of concepts...as in "it's just a job"...which is still, at nearing 61 years of age, difficult for me to personally master.  Having grown up in the corporate world of "give it all you've got", the transition to "in reality they don't always deserve the all you've got" part is challenging.  However, I am nothing if not a continuous work in progress on many fronts.   

I do think about actually being a retired person one of these years.  I am not sure when that could be, other than the earliest would be late Spring of 2026.  A lot depends on how this year at work goes.  

On the home front, Ms. Rivers and I are enjoying being at times empty nesters, with my youngest stepson away at college in Syracuse.  It's nice seeing him over breaks (such as now), but the "empty nest" parts aren't so terrible either.  I know Ms. Rivers enjoys our routine of very simple meals, for example.  The good, hard work of parenting marches on:  You love your children, but you are training them to be independent human adults that you will not see as much when they are fully adulting.  In my estimation, the good (of helping to raise independent human adults) outweighs the costs, and is ultimately part of a living legacy that parents leave the world.

Lastly, over the 16 or so years of this blog I've noted a fondness for New Years resolutions.  While I have been successful at some things, I am mostly terrible when it comes to results.  So this year I am not making any specific pronouncements. There are some things I want to get better at, such as maintaining a healthy mental health balance relative to work.  I also need to do better at staying in touch with folks.  Ms. Rivers attaches some importance to that second point, as she's worried that, in the event something should happen to her, I would become a kind of recluse.  That's a valid point.

The above noted, here's to 2025 and all that it brings.

Tuesday's Election

After watching parts of the former president's rally at Madison Square Garden, I was reminded of the Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Not a stretch, by the way, as I have it hanging in my home office, three feet away from me as I write this very sentence.

If you consider yourself a supporter of the former president, please do try and measure his words and actions against what we know to be the very best of what defines us, which I believe is well described in the Prayer of St. Francis.  Are we at our best when we call others "scum" or "vermin"?  Are we our best selves when we mock others for being different?  Are we at our best when we routinely use lies purely for self-gain?  Are we at our best when we revile the stranger and threaten the immigrant?

Thus says the Lord of hosts: Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another; do not oppress the widow, the orphan, the alien, or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.  (Zechariah 7:9-10)

Do we really want to give tremendous power and authority to someone who preaches hate towards others (that disagree with him) and promises "retribution" for what are his mostly personal grievances?  Is this REALLY who we are as a country?  Is this REALLY the country we want our children...and grandchildren...to inherit?

There is no middle ground here.  There is no rationalization for what he has said and promised.  In fact, give him credit for being abundantly clear.

By all means, if you can't support Vice President Harris in next Tuesday's election, well then don't vote for her.  I understand.  However, there are options other than Harris or the former president.  If you are going to vote for the former president, well then, I grieve for your lack of humanity, empathy, kindness and just plain common sense.  

My God have mercy on the United States.